Loitering with intent

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My photo

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Yes, for the last couple of months or more, I’ve been loitering with intent. I have the intention to finish off my third Enys book, NO MAN SO WISE, but I just haven’t done it yet. I did have an excuse for the first few months because I had a horrible chest problem/infection/whathaveyou which made me feel exhausted all the time. I know there are writers who can write from their bed of pain, but when you’re exhausted you write rubbish, basically. Or maybe that’s simply another excuse.

And then just as I was feeling better, something suddenly went wrong with my right arm so I could hardly move it (luckily I’m now left-handed since my stroke). This was a couple of weeks ago and I still can’t lift my arm above my armpit. Yes, I’ve seen a physio at Falmouth Hospital who checked me out very carefully and said he thought it was a rotator cuff problem (right shoulder) and gave me some exercises to do and also told me not to do any martial arts for at least three weeks.

AAarrrghh!

Martial arts are the only thing I’ve found that gives me somewhere to put my aggression without damaging people or furniture. This makes me so much nicer a person.

I’ve done various types over the years, including Tae kwon do, Ki-Aikido, Wing-chung and Systema. Since 2020 I’ve really enjoyed studying karate with Sensei Kay Banks and Sensei Abbie Watson at Doryoku Ryu Karate although I’m very slow to learn.

I think I was dyspraxic at school at a time when there was no such thing and other people who muddled up their letters were just lazy or dumb. I got told off plenty of times for the hideous sin of not-trying. Despite Miss Harris, the gym teacher, shrieking “Dordge, gels, dordge!” as I lumbered around trying to throw a netball in approximately the right direction, I failed. God, how I hated netball and tennis. Hockey was a bit more fun because at least you were armed.

I did get much better once I’d found martial arts. Apart from anything else, no bloody balls to chase, fail to throw, fail to hit, fail to catch, fail to kick etc.

I do try to listen to my body which is quicker than using my brain. Is my body sternly telling me to calm down and rest? Or is my body saying, “There you are, get that bloody book done and dusted!”

Erm...

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